Non-Violent Communication (NVC)

Taking Ourselves Seriously Enough

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No amount of hiding, giving it to self-consciousness, or being nice and agreeable will get us, collectively, to a different social order. We can’t wait for others to do it for us any longer. It seems to me the time has come for each of us to live full force, because there is no one else who can be you or me. It sounds simple, and yet I find it so intensely true that it’s almost overwhelming. The more we make our gifts easy to see, the more we own, embrace, and embody our gifts, the more we move toward that glorious vision of a world in which all of us are truly free.

Culture

The Power of Moms

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The lesson that the history of MADD teaches is that it may take years to achieve the legislative goals that Moms Demand Action wants. It may take years to change the culture. But the good news is that a change for the better can and will come.

Culture

Does Freedom of Speech Allow Stereotyping?

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The precious freedom of speech we all hold dear should never be limited, but stereotyping isn’t free speech. It’s a harmful, dangerous yet insidious way to hold down a group and deny them equality. Let’s not go down that road… again.

Non-Violent Communication (NVC)

Saying “No” without Saying “No”

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Saying “no” to anyone, about anything, tends to be challenging. We know how uncomfortable it is to hear the “no” we would say. We want to avoid that discomfort and the consequences that might come our way for being “exposed” in our unwillingness. Many of us genuinely wish to be always caring and available, and find it strenuous to face a situation in which, for whatever reason, we don’t find the willingness or ability to say “yes” to what is being asked of us.

Non-Violent Communication (NVC)

Does Anyone Deserve Anything?

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Today, in this piece, I want to address an area where I am still learning, a collection of words and phrases I still don’t fully know how to translate seamlessly into the language of needs. This “family” includes notions dear to most of us, such as equality, fairness, justice, civil and human rights. Its fundamental notion, in my way of looking at it, is the concept of deserving, intimately tied to the reward and punishment frame of looking at the world.

Culture

To the Religious Right Trashing Jason Collins: He Was Born Gay. You Were Taught to Hate.

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You know the fundamentalist rage that is brewing today, the self-proclaimed religious amongst us who hide their homophobic prejudices under the veil of Biblical doctrine, under the veil of God’s will. They can’t handle the prototypical, stereotypical man revealing himself to be gay. They can’t stomach such a world.
And so the bible-driven filth is being directed at Jason today. It’s as ugly as it is expected. However, the one difference — perhaps the most important one to consider today — is that while Jason was born to be a gay man, was bequeathed this identity, those on the religious right calling him filthy names learned their hatred.

Non-Violent Communication (NVC)

The Paradox of Why

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In an astonishing number of situations, knowing the “why” – why someone did what they did – is what helps us make meaning, be motivated, transform our assumptions, or open our hearts. At the same time, the “why” question – “why did you do that?” – is often the most difficult to hear, leading us to defensiveness and contraction. Both parts of this paradox have clear reasons (their own “why,” if you will). Once we know them, we can find ways to support ourselves and others in knowing the “why” that are less taxing for all.

Culture

Unwilling to Listen, Unable to Hear

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The cruelty of U.S. policy and actions toward these Muslims is beyond reckoning. Clearly the U.S. is not listening to any sort of moral voice in its execution of such policy and action. Clearly the U.S. is not heeding the misery of these prisoners.

Culture

Instead of “Leadership Development”

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Some days I find it hard to hold together School for Conversion’s work with neighborhood youth through the WAY, our work in prisons through Project TURN, and our community building efforts through radical education and grassroots organizing. But standing on my block that evening, I could see how good mothers like Ms. Juanita need a mentoring program for kids like Ray and our little neighbor who was standing beside me. I could see clearly how our criminal justice system and its policy of mass incarceration affects people I love. And I could see, more than anything, how this is a problem that we can only begin to address as a community.