It seems like Colin Kaepernick’s choice around how to exert his freedom of speech isn’t meeting a lot of people’s need for a certain type of respect shown in a certain type of way. I’m guessing from that angle this whole choosing to silently, and nonviolently, protest the diminished humanity of some of his fellow citizens (by sitting/kneeling down during the playing of the national anthem at a professional football game) is extremely irritating and frustrating for a lot of people?
When my former quarterback’s brother (John Harbaugh, Super Bowl winning coach of the Ravens) quoted Voltaire (‘I may not agree with what you say, but I’ll defend it until death your right to say it’) I thought “Yah, isn’t that what makes America great? Isn’t that what people are fighting for? Isn’t that why it’s okay to criticize the government and the President and not be condemned as treasonous or subversive?” But it seems like the First Amendment is seen very differently by different American members of team-humanity.
From my vantage point (growing up in Palo Alto, California) I think about how safe I felt in the homes of most of my Caucasian friends from having my humanity diminished and how grateful I feel to have experienced that more often than not. The painful other side (while honoring those who’ve given their lives and bodies) of being an AMERICAN of African ancestry outside of their homes, was/is:
(1) Walking into an expectation of inarticulation and tacitly being asked to pass a test of communication.
“Oh wow! You’re SO articulate. You’re not like the others. You’re special.” (Which I learned by age 10 was not a compliment, but a thuggish way of keeping a stereotype intact. In science, once a theory is disproved it’s discarded. In society, our social theories – aka stereotypes or what I like to call ‘stereos’ – seem to twist themselves into pretzels trying to carve out exceptions.)
(2) Being the first generation born after civil rights and dealing with the residue of terrorism within the family, while being told to get over it by society.
For someone who was born on 3rd base (with an inheritance of confidence, support, and resources) to brag about the triple they hit, and then tell others to keep their eye on the ball (when it was illegal for their parents/mentors to have a bat, a helmet, gloves, or even step up to home plate) is soul crushing! (Btw, re: the ‘wealthy athlete be quiet’ argument. Would we be paying attention if CK was broke and unemployed? No amount of wealth can buy back your dignity from diminished humanity. The cost of that ticket is empathy, which he’s offering us from his PLATFORM for FREE … oh, say can you see?)
(3) Getting ‘The Talk’ at 8 years old that my Caucasian friends were going to get the benefit of the doubt in the same situations I was going to get the detriment of the skepticism, and that they wouldn’t get purse-clutches and door-locks when they went out in public.
On top of experiencing it, then there’s that second punch. The push to make it seem like the honesty of the situation is something being made up (and if you’ve ever been disbelieved when you’re telling the truth, you know how devastating that can feel, right?)
If you’ve ever been a visitor at a sporting event where the home team was revered like superheroes and deities, then you might catch a glimpse into how concerning it is to see the verbal pitchforks flying around on social media. Especially when you are consciously (or subconsciously) being seen as wearing the visitors jersey (and no one seems to notice the one you’re wearing that says ‘team-humanity’ on it).
When my former quarterback’s brother (John Harbaugh, Super Bowl winning coach of the Ravens) quoted Voltaire (‘I may not agree with what you say, but I’ll defend it until death your right to say it’) I thought “Yah, isn’t that what makes America great? Isn’t that what people are fighting for? Isn’t that why it’s okay to criticize the government and the President and not be condemned as treasonous or subversive?” But it seems like the First Amendment is seen very differently by different American members of team-humanity.From my vantage point (growing up in Palo Alto, California) I think about how safe I felt in the homes of most of my Caucasian friends from having my humanity diminished and how grateful I feel to have experienced that more often than not. The painful other side (while honoring those who’ve given their lives and bodies) of being an AMERICAN of African ancestry outside of their homes, was/is:
(1) Walking into an expectation of inarticulation and tacitly being asked to pass a test of communication.
“Oh wow! You’re SO articulate. You’re not like the others. You’re special.” (Which I learned by age 10 was not a compliment, but a thuggish way of keeping a stereotype intact. In science, once a theory is disproved it’s discarded. In society, our social theories – aka stereotypes or what I like to call ‘stereos’ – seem to twist themselves into pretzels trying to carve out exceptions.)
(2) Being the first generation born after civil rights and dealing with the residue of terrorism within the family, while being told to get over it by society.
For someone who was born on 3rd base (with an inheritance of confidence, support, and resources) to brag about the triple they hit, and then tell others to keep their eye on the ball (when it was illegal for their parents/mentors to have a bat, a helmet, gloves, or even step up to home plate) is soul crushing! (Btw, re: the ‘wealthy athlete be quiet’ argument. Would we be paying attention if CK was broke and unemployed? No amount of wealth can buy back your dignity from diminished humanity. The cost of that ticket is empathy, which he’s offering us from his PLATFORM for FREE … oh, say can you see?)
(3) Getting ‘The Talk’ at 8 years old that my Caucasian friends were going to get the benefit of the doubt in the same situations I was going to get the detriment of the skepticism, and that they wouldn’t get purse-clutches and door-locks when they went out in public.
On top of experiencing it, then there’s that second punch. The push to make it seem like the honesty of the situation is something being made up (and if you’ve ever been disbelieved when you’re telling the truth, you know how devastating that can feel, right?)
If you’ve ever been a visitor at a sporting event where the home team was revered like superheroes and deities, then you might catch a glimpse into how concerning it is to see the verbal pitchforks flying around on social media. Especially when you are consciously (or subconsciously) being seen as wearing the visitors jersey (and no one seems to notice the one you’re wearing that says ‘team-humanity’ on it).
Growing up with academic and athletic privilege was the main reason that I was able to have an ‘AHA!’ moment when it came to the realization that I didn’t have ethnic privilege (pre-judgment in my favor). So with that said, here’s my take on this whole thing. The way I hear that the anthem and flag represent pride, sacrifice, and freedom for a lot of people, I wonder if those same people can hear how it can be seen as a painful reminder of terrorism and the broken promises of an American experiment that the founders couldn’t even live up to?
With all of that said, I write these words to you today with the optimism of the American dream in my heart and the post civil-rights confidence of a butterfly having no memory of the chrysalis in my mind.
Sending empathy and healing energy to anyone who’s reading this, and asking for an empathic boomerang in return. Would anyone like to reflect back to me what they believe they hear me saying?
Oh, say can you see … each other as members of team-humanity?
With all of that said, I write these words to you today with the optimism of the American dream in my heart and the post civil-rights confidence of a butterfly having no memory of the chrysalis in my mind.
Sending empathy and healing energy to anyone who’s reading this, and asking for an empathic boomerang in return. Would anyone like to reflect back to me what they believe they hear me saying?
Oh, say can you see … each other as members of team-humanity?
“Human beings are shades of brown, ‘race’ is illusory yet still we drown in the intoxication of separation, even though the GREATEST HIGH comes from connection.”
– The Empathy Guy
Tony Scruggs, known as#TheEmpathyGuy, speaks on compassion at home, in the classroom, in society, and in the workplace! Tony Scruggs is an author (‘Excellence Off The Field‘), a nonbullying coach, and a former professional athlete. For more information go toTheEmpathyGuy.com. Photo credits: Brook Ward and The All-Nite Images.
I grew up in Washington D.C. to age 10 (1938) and after that in a boarder state (Maryland). Both were segregated. But in Maryland I lived in a small town and people were judged on their, honesty, hard work, caring for their family and decent manners to all. But there was an undercurrent that assumed Blacks were inferior. But propinquity slowly overcomes paranoia. So I slowly learned to override my initial gut reaction and get to know people before I judged them. I also had the benefit or working as an MD and knew black professionals that were my equals and betters in decency, intelligence, status and accomplishments. So I learned to over ride the default setting and see all humans as family. I am glad I was able to do this but I also understand the lingering residuals of paranoia in generals and racism in particular..
When I worked for the NY State Dept. of Labor in the 80s, I had a supervisor– Bonita– who was smarter and more people-insight-full than anyone I knew then, or have known since. I think that was a big step for me toward not prejudging via stereotypes. But it was a only a step…
I lived in Palo Alto in the early 60’s. When I looked at my kindergarten and first grade pictures at Loma Vista Elementary School I was surprised at how many students of color were there. I will never forget when at a Giant’s game, my dad stood up and applauded when Hank Aaron hit a home run. Not just because he was black but because he was also from the other team. I’m no longer a baseball fan but baseball did teach me a lot.
Baseball was supposed to be about fair play. And there was Ty Cobb, A very racist and totally unfair man living on his “fame” next door in Atherton. Now Willie Mays lives there. Guess that’s some progress. And the Stanford Indians are now the Cardinals.
I now live in Boulder, Colorado, which I think is much more similar to Palo Alto than Berkeley. The median home price is around 800K and student activism is non-existent. A topic for another day? Thank you for your thoughtful comments. I love people who challenge me to think. Always a rare and extremely valuable commodity in this capitalist consumer culture. Sports are the true religion. Like the Roman bread and circuses. You do know, I’m sure.
With all the fluffle over Colin Kaepernick’s not standing for the Star Spangled Banner, and some comment somewhere about the other 2nd, 3rd, 4th verses of the Star Spangled Banner, I decided to look up the whole lyrics to the Star Spangled Banner, and came away shocked, horrified actually. So I support his action (or lack of it) on both free speech basis, and also because I never knew the remaining verses of the national anthem, didn’t even know there were any. Good for him.
Insight… I have been depressed for many years… I felt inadequate, super shy, a square peg not fitting in a round hole… low self esteem.. and played the blame game…
One day I was talking to my psychologist… telling how terrible the world is, how phony everybody is, and cited my opinions about going to church… that all congregation were elitist chastising me for not being a very good Christian, and they would come up to me and “Say, great to see you in Church”…
I explained to the doctor… how much I resented that phoniness… He quickly, calmly said… “Maybe their action was how much they wanted to share their happiness with me and were glad to see me.”
That hit me like a ton of bricks… They really cared about me… they gave me strength…I WAS REBORN BY THAT COMMENT. I immediately recognized… It was me who made a false assumption… I prejudged… I felt terrible… Today, I call “Assumptions” the second most dangerous word in human language. You read about it every day… from domestic assaults to world war. The most dangerous word…. HURBIS…Probably one of the popular premises in the history of literature… the false pride.. destroy the self and all those around him. Today… I am humble and forgiving. And more importantly… I’m Happy. Ron hansing 9.26.16.