Humanistic Judaism is a comprehensive response to the needs of contemporary Jews to create personal and communal experiences that celebrate identity, values, and connection. In my experience as the lay ceremonial leader of a congregation of Humanistic Jews, the pursuit of these experiences can lead to great rewards in unexpected places, places never visited by the other branches of the modern Jewish tree.
Our congregation includes the Levy family: mother, father and seven year-old (adopted) daughter, Ruth. Last year, the parents asked me to help them prepare a celebration of Ruth’s conversion to Judaism (her birth parents were not Jewish). We discussed Humanistic Judaism’s philosophy that adoption is a better term than conversion, and that it requires no ritual to accomplish, merely an affirmative identification and association with Jews, their historical and cultural experiences, and the values of Humanistic Judaism. The parents still wanted to do something special to welcome Ruth -an active member of our Sunday School – into the Jewish family, and, consistent with our philosophy, to allow Ruth to declare her adoption of Humanistic Judaism.
We considered a Naming Ceremony, but Ruth already had a significant Jewish name, and the existing liturgy for such a celebration dealt with infants, not a curious, thoughtful, social second-grader. We considered the Bat Mitzvah, but Ruth is far from entering young adulthood and will celebrate her Bat Mitzvah at an appropriate time in several years. We were stuck. None of the branches of Judaism seemed to offer an example. There was no analog in tradition to adapt.
As Humanistic Jews do so often, we created something new; something that met the needs of our community and reflected our cherished traditions.
We started with the name. Ruth, you see, was not born in the United States. She was born in China. And when she came to this country to become part of the Levy family, she brought a name with her, a name given to her by her birth parents in their language. The Levys have taught Ruth that Qing Miao Huai is the name she was born with and that it will always be hers. I wondered what Qing Miao Huai meant and was given the answer: Ruth’s Chinese name means Celebrate Seedlings.
Now, we were getting somewhere. Celebrate Seedlings! What a noble concept. Jews even have an annual holiday dedicated to celebrating seedlings, and Jews love planting trees in Israel to commemorate special people and events.
I suggested to the Levys that we could achieve our purpose by giving Ruth a new Hebrew name to compliment her Chinese name; one that also means celebrate seedlings. The suggestion was approved and on we went.
Not being a scholar – not even literate in Hebrew – I sought the advice of a rabbi friend to provide a translation for Celebrate Seedlings. Simple! Simcha was celebrate and zera was seedlings. Simcha Zera would be the name. The Levys and I were pleased; Simcha Zera even seemed to have a touch of poetry. Creating the ceremony was easy from here on.
Everything was set for Ruth’s Naming/Adoption Ceremony to be held in the presence of her Sunday School friends, their parents, most of the rest of our congregation, and guests during Circle Time before Sunday School one day last fall. The ceremony would be immediately followed by our annual Introduction to Humanistic Judaism symposium for new and continuing members. What better way to demonstrate how Humanistic Judaism meets our needs than to share this unique celebration?
Two weeks before the big day, I attended a congregation Bat Mitzvah. At the reception, I was seated with a local Israeli family who, I’d been told, were curious about Humanistic Judaism and our congregation. I didn’t need any encouragement, of course, and gave them my spiel, including the story of Simcha Zera.
No sooner had the name passed my lips than the woman with whom I was talking burst into laughter. Loud, uninterrupted, tear-inducing laughter. What? What had I said? What was so funny? When she had composed herself (minimally), she repeated the story and name to her husband and they both started laughing. I was really worried that I’d done something terribly wrong, something that might embarrass the Levys and Ruth, especially. What was it?
When the couple finally caught their breath they told me. My friend’s translation, they said, was technically 100% accurate. The problem was that our word for seedlings – zera – is a common slang term among Israeli youth for sperm. Oy! Ouch! The woman said she had pictured an eager young woman of 18 or so, visiting Israel for the first time and introducing herself to an Israeli young man as Simcha Zera, Celebrate Sperm. I thought we were sunk. We couldn’t go forward with this.
But, the day was saved. My new Israeli friends informed me that the word neta had the same meaning as zera – seedlings – without any of the sexual connotation. Simcha Neta. Not quite as poetic, I thought, but a good name nonetheless.
Two weeks later, the Levys’ Naming/Adoption Ceremony for Ruth, Qing Miao Huai, Simcha Neta went off without a hitch, and brought tears of joy and wonder to many eyes. Humanistic Judaism adapting (while adopting), once again. Planting trees. Celebrating seedlings.
Rob Agree is the ceremonial leader of the Congregation for Humanistic Judaism of Morris County.
What a captivating, well-told tale!
Mr. Agree skillfully weaves thoughtfulness, insights and humor into an essay that reflects the face of American Judaism in the 21st Century. He reminds us that compassion, flexibility and resourcefulness are paths to resolving virtually any situation.
Sholem Aleichem would appreciate the blend of wit and wisdom, as I certainly do.
a heartfelt story, emphasizing the beauty and kindness we need to experience and encourage in our communities……….
one part, though, upset me, and i wish to share it. i felt deeply embarrassed reading of the visiting israeli couple’s out-loud laughter at the name before offering their otherwise helpful suggestion to amend ruth’s new hebrew name. how much more respectful it could have been, had your guests been delicate about offering their opinion/suggestion………i feel a need to apologize for the sadly widespread israeli habit of lack of respect for differences………..and my prayer that we can better contribute to a successful, cooperative community in future……….
Shira, Thanks for your kind comments. I want you to know that it never occurred to me to take offense at the laughter I described. If my story made it seem otherwise, it is entirely the author’s fault.
Rob
Shira, As a non-Jew, who was also adopted (my birth name was Joseph), I enjoyed reading about the laughter. Perhaps I’m overstating my case, but maybe laughter helped sustain Judaism through the Diaspora and beyond. Shalom.
Indeed, Jim. You could say that the joke’s been with (not on) us.
Rob
I do fully advocate forgiving said behavior, but i stand firmly by my belief that laughter at one’s own faults and mistakes is true fun for all, but laughing at another’s mistake is most often taken with great pain…….
……..especially as to foreigners to a language, and as a language teacher myself, i know the difference between gentle guidance and loud criticism, ESPECIALLY laughing at people’s mistakes…….our author, as a public figure, may be less sensitive to such responses, but most people i’ve known hurt deeply from such reception to their efforts……..and i speak for the many who have retreated from learning languages for just such reasons……..
of course, this is another subject……….
Great article. It so nicely conveys Humanistic Judaism’s ability to blend tradition with current realities.
Nice story, Rob. A excellent example of the Jewish survival mechanism of adapting to contemporary circumstances. For more about Humanistic Judaism see the the movement’s website at: http://www.shj.org
Dear Rob – The occasion of the naming/adoption ceremony is praiseworthy. However, was Ruth consulted in this matter? A child of seven is old enough; she is an individual. This is not trivial. Most of us were named in infancy when we could not have expressed any opinion on this very personal matter. How often have children suffered from names not of their choosing with which they had to live and experience chance associations or teasing. I myself took many years to accept my given name; my sister and my son have often expressed dislike of their middle names.
Of course, a rose by any name is beautiful.
Bob Wolff
Bob, As I tried to suggest in the story, it was precisely because at the age of 7 Ruth was able to participate in the “adoption” that we had to look beyond the naming liturgy. And she made real contributions to the planning as well as the execution!
Great story. It goes to show how important it is to check with the experts, and how there are always solutions when one looks.
Nice story, but she is going to have an issue if she wants to move to Israel or wants to get involved with a branch of Judiasm that has more traditional requirements for conversion.