I keep getting distracted by posts on Facebook about Palestine and Israel. 
In particular, people are posting pictures that say “Share if you support Israel’s right to defend herself” or a cartoon like the one on left of Israeli children unable to stand outside as the snow falls because instead of snow falling on them, rockets are falling.
When I see these images, my eyes fill with tears. I am so deeply saddened by this because I value caring for the well-being of all and taking responsibility for how our choices and behavior impact others.
One common question that Jews keep asking is “What would you do?” with a picture of bombs landing on icons from different cities around the world.
What this picture ignores is the daily, ongoing experience for Palestinians.
I have never seen these same people post photos of the suffering of Palestinians or raise concerns or questions about the Occupation, the building of the Wall, the destruction and demolition of Palestinian homes, the imprisonment and killing of nonviolent protesters, children, etc.
And similar, often identical pictures, are posted by those who support Palestinians. 
But even a balanced posting of suffering and righteousness, gets us nowhere, unless it stops us dead in our tracks and makes us realize that bombing and killing will never solve this problem. Instead it only deepens the wounds, resentment, and hatred.
I do not want to debate who is right and who is wrong in this conflict. Instead I want to reframe the entire discourse from one of blaming and finger pointing to one of compassion, curiosity, self-responsibility, acknowledgment, empathy, care and a genuine desire to solve the problem rather than exacerbate it.
I don’t have the answers, but I have an idea of where to start.
In my humble opinion, it starts within our own hearts and psyche. Until we do the deep healing work we, and here I speak as a Jew, need to do to heal from the psychological scars from our years of oppression and suffering both before and during the Holocaust, I am afraid that peace will forever remain elusive.
The reason I believe this is because it is our scars and our fears that are driving our actions. We need to move from a place of fear and hurt and grief to a place of compassion, love and care for the “other.”
Yes, I believe the same is true for Palestinians, however, they are living under Occupation and endure daily injustices, humiliations, lack of freedom, etc. that are not the experience of Israeli Jews. I believe the initial responsibility lies in the hands of Jews because Israel is the one with the power in this dynamic.
Thus far, we’ve taken a self-righteous attitude that anything we do to protect ourselves is justified because if we don’t, look what happens. While this may feel powerful, in fact it bolsters our sense of powerlessness. Instead, we need to mourn our past.
Jewish teachings taught me that it is our job to fight against oppression anywhere and to care for the “other” amongst us. There is nothing “Jewish” about dropping bombs on people and killing innocent civilians. There is nothing “Jewish” about destroying peoples’ homes and denying them the ability to support their families, go to school, obtain health care, spend time with family and friends, etc.
I know that we are better than this and that we are simply caught in our fears, hurts and grief. To move from a place of fear, hurt and grief to a place of love, compassion and care, we need to heal.
To do this, I invite Jewish synagogues, homes, shuls, schools and community centers to hold healing and grieving circles on Sabbath. To be in community to mourn and grieve so that we can begin our healing process. A process that allows us to deeply mourn our past so that we are free to make choices that embody Jewish traditions of love, compassion, empathy and care for the “other”.
Grieving and mourning is the birthplace of healing, repair, and transformation.
Once we begin our healing process we will begin to open our hearts with compassion to the experience and suffering of Palestinians. Only then we will be able to hear their stories and their suffering and be able to honestly reflect upon how our behavior and choices have contributed so deeply to the tragedy and suffering of all, rather than blaming the “other”.
It is then that we will begin to see Palestinians as fellow sojourners on this planet who have the same needs we do and who shed the same tears and blood.
When that happens, peace is possible.
Cat you don’t know Torah . Many times HaShem sent the Israelites into strange lands and clearly ordered the death of its occupants . If we had been obedient and destroyed the Canaanites and amalakites some of our suffering could have been avoided , it is our land and they need to put down their guns
Dear Andrea ~
I wonder if you are enraged about what is happening in Israel and want some understanding of how awful it is? Are you terrified and want to know that Jews will be safe? Do you just want the fighting and bombing to stop so that the Jews can live peacefully in Israel?
When I hear you say “If we had been obedient and destroyed the Canaanites and amalakites some of our suffering could have been avoided”, I feel deep sadness mixed with disbelief and even fear because I too want to be safe, I too want peace and security, and I want this not only for Jews but for all humans on this planet. I feel terrified because I do not see how ongoing slaughter and killing builds peace, security and safety for anyone and deeply yearn for those needs to be met for all of us. I also feel deep grief and sorrow because I wish to live in a world where all life is honored and respected as the sacred beings that we all are.
There is no single, unified voice in the TNK on the land. You have Ruth, the Moabite, a grandmother of David. You have Rahab, the Canaanite, joining the people. You have unfaithful Jonah versus the faith responding Ninevites. You have Third Isaiah reversing Dt. 23:1. You have a first century Jewish rabbi feeding the Jewish thousands on one side of a lake with 12 baskets, representing Israel. Then this rabbi feeds the Gentile masses on the other side with 7 baskets left, representing the enemy nations that were supposedly to be destroyed.
The god that you worship who loves some people over others is a fraud and idol. The true G-d desires blessing and life for all people. We are called by G-d to offer loving blessing to the world over against special privilege. We are loved so that we might love neighbors, strangers, and enemies.
How ironic that Jews, Christians, and Muslims often unite in idolatry, worshipping a violent deity who always seems to favor “our” side.
Those who weep for all who are dying have entered the humanity that G-d is seeking to create. The All Loving seeks to end deadly rivalry.
Cat, i celebrate every word of your loving message, and your courage to post it which is likely to attract harsh responses. it truly arouses my own grief and need to mourn so much past suffering of our people and all humans, even including my personal grief, too.
in a world so full of conflict, hatred, disconnection and violence, it is sometimes so hard to stay balanced, compassionate and open-minded. fear has just about taken over everything, and i completely support your call for mourning for all that pain, so that the great love that we humans are capable of can grow, thrive, and bring the wholeness we all yearn for and need…….built on generous compassion as well as forgiveness and reason.
maybe the hardest part of this struggle is keeping our hearts open to people who hold views that seem anti-peace and anti-healing. yet, we are especially connectable on that issue of being willing to listen and hold with love others so ‘different’. i believe that’s the key, and that’s why it is so difficult. it means trusting our hearts and deep human spirit above and beyond one or another understanding-interpretation of the biblical words.
i wish us all the great kindness and endless support and devotion of one another’s care……to finally all walk together toward a beautiful future on this healing earth.
Thank you, beloved of G-d, for these words
Thank you Tim for your words.
Dear Shira ~
I so appreciate reading your words and knowing that my writing sparked within your own heart your grief and need to mourn. Your ending line captures my deepest yearning as well. Blessings to you. ~ cat
from all i know-and which very well could be not sufficient-Israel moved out many Jews from Gaza so that Palestinians could be there And Hamas continued with its’ ‘Destroy israel’ campaign, and also teaching death and destruction to Israel, to its children. From reports of people who have lived in Israel, this is indeed the program, as is that of Islam. And Israel in its war, does not purposely aim to wipe out civilians, Hamas does. Because Israel has more $, doesn’t justify Hamas -i heard them in person in Berkeley in the early eighties-and Destroy and Hate was their campaign as it is now. Furthermore, Hamas tactics do not appear to have the lives and welfare of their people as a priority.
Dear Cat,
I love your expansive heart and the enormous compassion that you hold for all beings.
I fear that you believe that those in Israel who are making the decision to retaliate by bombing do not acknowledge the humanity of those living where the bombs drop.
My personal experience with Israelis and Israel is that individually and collectively the vast majority of the country and its citizens care deeply about the humanity of the Palestinian people. Things have changed in the last 25 years. And while the racists in Israel may have gotten louder, their numbers have grown much smaller.
We do have to mourn our losses from the Shoa and from the thousands of pogroms. We have rituals for this (Tish B’Av, Yom HaShoah), but it is not enough. At some point we must be willing to internalize our Land and our Temple and walk away. Walk away because nothing on this earth is worth killing for and life is too precious to knowingly martyr oneself.
But where will we go? Who will have us? The world has rejected us all before. Has anything about needing a homeland where we won’t be rounded up, chased out or murdered in our homes changed in the last 60 years?
It wouldn’t take long before the borders of North America, Australia, and western Europe closed to us. Then what? Stay and wait to die? And if that is the only option remaining would you be willing to be one of those left behind to await your fate?
With a heavy heart and great gratitude for not having to be an Israeli citizen at this moment,
Great Love to you on your journey,
Deborah
Dear Deborah ~
Thank you for your kind words. I am not judging whether Israelis see Palestinians as human, I am simply saying that the choices the Israeli government is making, and the silence of many Israelis, does a disservice to both Palestinians and Jews. I believe that as long as we fail, as Jews, to mourn our past, we will continue to make choices out of fear rather than compassion and generosity. The former will ultimately not lead to security or safety for anyone.
I appreciate your words that it is time to internalize our Land and temple and walk away. And, I hear your fear that there is nowhere for Jews to go that is safe. I believe that the security of the Jewish people will never be guaranteed without solving the problem of the world: the systematic deprivation of our human needs for nurturance and caring by each other. Every partial solution turns out to be no solution, and Israel is no safe haven, but a distortion of Judaism that will face retribution in the future for the evil it is doing now. I worry that Israel’s behavior now simply fuels the fire of anti-semitism.
And I believe that to do that, we need to deeply mourn our past.
With blessings and love to you ~ cat